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kbuss
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Name: Kyle
Location: Omaha, Nebraska, United States
Gender: Male
Interests: God, movies, some books, running, playing random sports, chess, other hobbies, people, writing, poetry, music, directing and producing films, just about anything really.
Expertise: Going off on long tangents without really saying anything of worth. Saying the exact wrong thing at the worst moment possible. I'll say random facts about random things. OK I'll stop!
Occupation: Student
Industry: Education/Research
Message: message meEmail: email me
AIM:  thekbuss
MSN: kylebuss21@hotmail.com
Member Since:
3/16/2005
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| I really hopes this appears in facebook just because I think it would be funny and hope that others would agree with me. I also hope that because of my last little note that people don't stop reading what I write. That may have been a little different than what people are used to and I think that was what I was getting at. This has very little to do with facebook I am simply trying to avoid it because it has become somewhat of an idol in my life. I find that not checking facebook can be difficult for me because there are so many people that I can keep in touch with and I really enjoy that. The thing is it interfers with time I could spend worshiping the Lord. Wow, I am finally getting to what I actually wanted to talk about!
I was speaking with a friend this morning and the conversation took an unexpected turn. I was trying to avoid the conversation but it seemed to follow me. Eventually I got out what I had to say and I am now amazed at how much I wasn't speaking.
Somehow the topic turned to "what we deserve." Tonight after watching I Am Sam at Crusade I was driving home and I reflected on this conversation. I began to realize that I don't even deserve life, breath, the ability to think. I am nothing. But it is because God's favor that He has created me normal; actually I'm special. Special in the fact that there are days like today where I am so loopy I can only imagine that I am making people wonder about me--A LOT! This isn't about me though, this is about God and pouring out blessings that we certainly do not deserve!
On Monday I went out to eat with a guy from church and he was offering to pay (I should watch my words because I may have conned him into it) but to exalt myself I was saying, "No, no, don't worry about it."
I have the means to buy lunch and I don't know if I really didn't want to buy it or what but I "reluctantly" accepted. This is the trick to conning people (I'm an evil person, I know). He was telling me that it was grace and to accept it. And after just hearing the first portion of a sermon about Justification you start to think this is grace I can accept this. "What we deserve," has in my mind, started to become "What we accept." .
I'm really beginning to think that we have so much pride that when we have become unwilling to accept gifts, gratitude, and grace we are in essence saying, "I (i.e. the person recieving) don't need this from you (i.e. the person giving)" or "I (i.e. the person recieving) am not sure if I can trust you (i.e.the person giving)."
I do not have the reasons and one can only speculate; why it is we do this? How much more could we enjoy if we simply accepted what others were willing to give us. Now, we should remain cautious as to what we are willing to accept but this should not make us unwilling to accept everything. If we could clearly see or know the people we could trust and with what we could trust them with how much easier would life be? I only know of the One you can trust (i.e. put all your trust in Him), and He also happens to be the One who is willing to GIVE THE MOST (e.g. His Son).
I think that the real thing is not about "what we deserve" but "what we are willing to accept?" And further "how we are willing to act according to what we have accepted?"
A conversation with another friend which feels like ages ago was all about wisdom and knowledge. And I may skew the details slightly but what he was getting at is knowledge is primarily the facts and wisdom is the ability to know how to use what you know. Action is involved in wisdom, and so to know something is one thing but to act upon it is quite different.
In that we know what has been given to us is one thing but to act upon it (i.e. willingness to accept it) is another. I have no way of knowing what you feel you do or do not deserve unless you tell me, but there is One that does (WISPERING: even before you tell Him) and I know that He is willing to listen...even when I'm not.
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As you all may not be aware I've had quite the past couple
weeks. I wish I could measure them as being good or bad but in all
reality it would have to depend what time frame I am speaking from. As
Greg would say I need to watch my tenses. If I go back two weeks and try
and remember how I felt in the moment it would be different than how I feel now
about that same moment.
How often do we get caught up in the moment and forget all the other things
that are going on around us. I've been living in a moment for quite
sometime now and am only now beginning to realize that perhaps that moment is
over. I guess it all depends on how caught up you are in the moment might
depend on how long you are living in the moment? This raises the
question, what moment are you living in? The only other thing that comes
to mind is that we experience multiple moments, layers if you will, every
single day. This is getting really hard to think through.
It might relate to past, present, and future. Moments of the past effects
your present along with what you are currently experiencing and finally your
plans for the future is effecting possible decisions you are faced with.
It just makes you wonder about Matthew 6:34 and not worrying about tomorrow. You could logically say that you should stop
worrying about yesterday as well, because, “TODAY has enough trouble of its
own.”
Does this mean that “I” should be focusing more on today
than any other day? Face today and let
tomorrow worry about itself and yesterday be a forgotten memory?
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|  | Currently Watching
Coach Carter (Widescreen Edition)
By Samuel L. Jackson, Rob Brown (VI), Robert Ri'chard, Rick Gonzalez, Nana Gbewonyo, Antwon Tanner, Channing Tatum, Ashanti (II), Texas Battle, Denise Dowse, D'Angelo Jones, Debbi Morgan, Mel Winkler, Vincent Laresca, Sidney Faison, Octavia Spencer, Sonya Eddy, Gwen McGee, Ausanta, Adam Clark
see related |
If you have not seen the movie Coach Carter I would highly recomend it. This is not centered around the movie, but the movie is worth seeing at least once. I am writing because of a particular scene in the movie, where one of the players stands up and recites a quote from Nelson Mandella:
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We were all meant to shine, as children do. It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
This is possibly the most famous quote from Mandella, it is soulful and deep. It strikes at a question we have often asked ourselves. Only it is an unlikely answer. We generally think of our fears coming from dark places not that of light. There is a great deal of evil in the world today but could it not be because we are afraid to let our lights shine and reveal the darkness that is shadowing our lives. Is it that we let the slightest fears keep us from doing the things that are going to ultimately make us enjoy life? Is it that we fear what is right or what is wrong that we are overly cautious in the decissions we make. It is not that cautionary steps should never be taken in making a decission, but there must come a point in the decission making process that we realize that we may be overthinking. And I find that overthinking is just as dangerous as underthinking. But how are we to know the correct amount of thinking required in making up our minds?
How are we suppose to tell which fears are from darkness and which are from our light? I find that I will say thinks like, "I need to be challenged more." And I do, but sometimes I'm not willing to step up to the challenge and cower by making excuses. Which is odd because I also say things like, "I hate when people (including myself) make excuses" or "Excuses are like butts, every has one and all that ever comes out is hot air and crap." I want to be challenged and I want to challenge others, it is the best way for any of us to grow.
What is more challenging than facing our fears? What is more challenging than daring others to be great? Like Mandella was getting at, and this is why I love this quote, is that we are all born with the ability of greatness. It is the fear that keeps us from achieving our greatness. If we took the time to recognize our fears, whether they are light or darkness, we will learn a great deal about ourselves and learn to use all of our fears to our advantage. It is that we must learn to use our fears productively, using the energy of our light fears for accomplishing new things and the energy of our dark fears to protect ourselves from the darkness. When we learn to harness our fears we can meet new challenges, achieve new creations, and find the greatness that comes from within. We must overcome the fear of being wrong, a majority of teachers that I've had wants us to speak candidly because there job is not to teach us stuff we already know but the stuff we don't. We learn a great deal more by being wrong than always trying to be right.
Dare to be great? Dare to bring new challenges into your life? Dare to be different? Dare to try the "wrong" way of doing things? Dare to dare others to do the same? Dare to be yourself? Dare, you daring sons of Darren? Oh I know what you were just thinking...Dare to think? Dare to struggle? Dare to let others in? Dare to spread the Good News? Dare to stop worrying? Dare to open your horizons? Dare to open your minds? Dare to meet someone "different?" Dare to help others? Dare to help yourself? Dare to LIVE? DARE TO LOVE? Dare to share your thoughts with others? Just Dare...?
Now...what is your deepest fear? Ironically, my deepest fear is loving others more than myself.--"It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us."
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| And I'm not talking about the CD's. Wait, what? Seriously though, what a week to have after winter break. First my car breaks down as I'm heading to my first day at my new job. Then, I get to my English Comp II class late and find that I've been dropped because I wasn't there on time. Finally, as I'm taking the pool table I sold to the guy who bought it. It falls out the back of the truck?!?!?
Actually, none of that happened. I just thought it would be more interesting to read than it's been a busy week and it's only going to stay busy. I don't know if I'm excited or afraid.
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| It's January 1, 2007, do you know where your kids are at? If you're like me you probably spent a little time reflecting on the past year. Trying to recount all the ups and downs and gather as much information about the past year you can muster. Remembering the new friends you've made and the loved ones you've lost. Laughing at the fun times and cringing at the not-so...much.
If you're not like me, chances are you took the time to think up a New Years resolution. That's what we do as the calender turns to January 1st. What I hope is that after reading this you'll begin resolving the old New Years traditions. It's not that I'm against people reflecting and trying to resolve things, my question is why wait until the New Year to start?
Now don't get me wrong, I'm as guilty as everyone, but times for reflection I feel should be a daily thing. Sit down take 30 minutes to reflect on what happened. Write it down, it'll help you remember and if you forget you can always go back and read over it. Imagine how much more you could be experiencing in life if you take the time to reflect on a daily basis? If for some reason during the reflection you recall a friend you haven't talked to in a long while, find a means of telling them (e.g., calling, e-mailing, texting, via facebook, etc.). We live in a world of technology there is no reason why a someone should not be informed moments after you think about them. Take the time (probably 3 seconds) to ask them what's up or if they would like to hangout soon. It's not like it's all that difficult.
Secondly, we wait until the New Year to "resolve" our lives. Most people who make New Years resolutions give up within the first couple of weeks. A few make it a couple of months and hardly anyone makes it the whole year. It's funny, I'm not sure if there is a conflict on New Years that people need to resolve or what, but I'm pretty sure the conflict is with waiting until the new year to resolve it.
Just like reflecting on a daily basis, if you want to make your New Years resolution stick, you have to think about it on a DAILY BASIS. Most resolutions made during New Years aren't a daily resolution, that's ok, but you have to remember that. You also have to remember that it is important to plan accordingly for your resolution to work. This is where things begin to get difficult, I suggest taking the first couple days (if not weeks) to push hard after your resolution. Don't let other things get in your way of your goal. Take the 30 minutes of your day to reflect on your goal and devise a less gung-ho regimine, unless it's a "daily" resolution. After 2 weeks you've likely set a good plan in action and if you've stuck with the resolution for the first two weeks (not letting anything get in the way) you'll be able to slow down the pace and stick with it. You should include increasing the amount of time during the week (if the goal is to losing weight or something) that you spend working out or jogging every couple of months.
If you haven't noticed yet, I've decided we need to focus more on the day ahead than the year behind. Life comes at us one day at a time, one hour, one minute, but for some reason we run around and wait until things happen (including holidays) to reflect or to try and better ourselves. I think the Nike slogan of the mid-late 90's is fitting: JUST DO IT! Don't wait around to start; get up and do it. If you start and fail, then think that waiting until the new year is going to help you attain your goal, you're wrong. It's a process of commitment that takes time and effort to develope. So take the time (and effort) to spend 1/48 of your day reflecting and resolving your life TODAY!
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